4 I Wrought the Heathen Altars

I hate closing my eyes. I loved it yesterday, but now I don’t. Whenever I do it comes back. I’m running towards the ball and I’m thinking this is mine. I’m excited – can you feel me? - I’m like my girl’s dog. I want to touch it, want to kick it, want to show to the world I am a football god – I have chosen thee -. But I’m scared too. Scared that I’ll fuck it up and give it away – don’t be scared – and that is just what I do – I am a god, your god – I should have kept my eye on the ball – I am the god of war – but I wish I hadn’t when I saw it drop into the feet of their striker – this is not the end, the war is not lost – when I see the ball smash the net, our net – I wrought the heathen altars – see the scowls on my team mates faces -  the almighty lord o’er the wide heavens – shit, shit, shit!

I see Jonesy’s still asleep. Still got his ipod on, soft git. I wonder how he’s gonna be with me? Nah, he’s safe. We play together for fuck sake. We fuck about in the shower after a game. I’ve even seen his eyes scrunch up together in animal joy at the other end of a prossie. Nothing like seeing someone come to know where they’re coming from. Yeah, he’ll understand. He’ll be alright. But you know, I don’t get it. I’m a grown up, earn lots of cash and this here is supposed to be a “multi-million pound training complex”. So why the fuck do I have to share a room?  I just don’t get it. I’d pay for my own room if they’d let me. I can afford it, right. Feels warm down below though, like being inside a highly metabolic Thai girl in summer. Not that I’ve ever been there. Don’t have to when they come to you eh Jonesy? And another thing I don’t get is why they have the world cup now, in this bloody heat, after a long season. Rigged innit, gotta be. FIFA you are a disgrace. Don’t like Inglerland do you. How can we play our premier league high tempo game when we’re sweating our balls off? No wonder they don’t have it back home again, it’s the only time we might get another bloody star. Anyway, I‘m worn out just thinking about it. Which reminds me, maybe I should get breakfast now.